By Lady Saoirse
Bright Blessings,
Recently, I was accused by a stranger of something that I didn’t do. People who know me well know I would never do such a thing. Somebody who I met years ago who I know very well apparently has not taken the time to get to know me after all those years- and believed the accusation, and was really angry with me about it. It ended up damaging our relationship and I think this is permanent. The word “bigot” was thrown into the mix, and I have never in all my life, even when I was being raised to be Catholic committed such an unkindness against anybody.
At first, I was beyond devastated to be accused of such a thing, and the fact that I am not sure how many people now believe this about me literally broke my heart. Within my own community I have supported for a little under 20 years, people are speaking against me- for something I have never and would never do. For a couple of weeks, I was an emotional mess. I won’t go into all the feelings I have had about such a thing, and I can’t tell you exactly what day I awoke to be perfectly okay because I realized something:
It does not matter what people say. It does not matter what people believe.
Ever.
The truth exists, regardless of people’s misunderstanding of it. There is a saying that “Perception is reality.” No, it isn’t. People’s perception is what they function within- and they are either living in reality, or they aren’t. Don’t fall to pieces over somebody else’s inability to function within reality. Let them believe lies. Let them spread lies. Let them make other people believe these things. Be unbothered.
You cannot control what other people say and do, and if they are going to operate in this way, detach from the whole situation. There will come a time when you have to prove your innocence, that’s not what I’m talking about. What I am talking about is a situation where people are gossiping, slandering you, or otherwise saying nasty things about you that are not true. What they say can possibly tarnish your reputation- but usually, it just doesn’t matter.
Never beg people to believe you. Never beg people to like you. Never beg people to trust you or defend you in your absence. Let them believe what they want. Let them do what they want. Let them say what they want. This will tell you everything about them that you need to know.
Sometimes, we love people deeply, and they keep us around because they enjoy that, but they don’t love us in return. Oh they might like us. They might enjoy our company, but if somebody is speaking against you, they do not care about you. I validate your feelings. Hurts badly, but feelings aside, when somebody demonstrates that with their words against you, don’t chew them out. Don’t try to reason with them. Simply adjust your behavior.
The best magic at a time like this is not to go out of your way to tell your side of things. Say nothing except to the ones you trust most and are closest to. Let everybody else talk, and believe anything they want. Don’t be afraid of what they say about you. Who you are and how you live your life speaks for itself. If you beg them to believe you, it shows that they are more important to you than you are to yourself. Never value another human being more than you value yourself.
You are better off alone than surrounded by people who speak against you or who don’t care about you. Don’t be afraid to let people talk, and don’t be afraid to be alone. There are over eight billion people on this planet right now. The odds of none of them caring about you are zero. It is impossible to be somebody who the whole world cares nothing for. Let people go if they show they don’t care and focus on the people who do care.
We will all be talked about. We may even be blacklisted, shunned, or “cancelled” for what people decide to believe about us. If that is the worst thing in life to happen in social situations, that’s pretty good actually. When people start this behavior, they indicate that they are not worth being around and they have done you a great favor. They have no true power over you. They are struggling spiritually with balancing kindness with being critical. They need to have someone they strike out against and truthfully, there is actual injustice in this world to fight that their energy would be better suited for. It is always easier to badmouth innocent people than to fight real injustice.
So, if this happens to you, don’t take it personally, and don’t be afraid. You have learned something about someone, that’s all. Walk with your head held high, confident in the knowledge of who you truly are instead of who certain people say you are.
Blessed Be.
Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own magical path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor who teaches and does Sabbats in her hometown, and she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for SpiritualBlossom and Mysticsense and she writes for PaganPages.Org emag.