By Cat Gina Cole
I want to share the following because there is a group of people that are very seldom recognized or understood, the neurodiverse, and we are greater in number than most might think. I want to put words to what it is like for many of the neuro-diverse to cope with the invisible battle by sharing a recent experience I had as I too am neurodiverse. I aim to let the diverse know I see you and give those who are not diverse a very small glimpse into what being neuro-diverse is like.
I want to share the following because there is a group of people that are very seldom recognized or understood, the neurodiverse, and we are greater in number than most might think. I want to put words what it is like for many of the neurodiverse to cope with the invisible battle by sharing a recent experience I had as I too am neurodivergent. I aim to let the neurodiverse know I see you and give those who are neurotypical a very small glimpse into what being neurodiverse is like.
On occasion, there is a topic that will come up on social media that gets me all twisted up. It happens to us all now and then. This topic was the use of AI and it popped up in my personal life. I mean, how dare it show up in my personal bubble and be right in my face and force me to take a stance when I am totally unprepared for such a thing!
I have known I am a neurodivergent person for some time which for me means sudden change or conflict can be very difficult or even a shock. I have a friend who calls me “Neuro-spicy.” Being an Aries with fire signs in the first three houses on my chart, I think I can accept I am spicy, to say the least.
On a regular basis, I am pretty easygoing and my heart is always in a good place, but on occasion, my neurodivergent responses are in direct conflict with where my heart or rational mind is at. This is why when teaching, I tell people they will not be perfect at keeping their shadow self in check all the time because we are human and fallible. If we are to truly know ourselves, we must also admit we have duality, conflict, trauma, and a good heart and they live side by side. This can be a real challenge to manage and confusing to those we know.
The topic of AI came up suddenly in a manner that made me feel it was something I had to deal with now. Something big coming up out of nowhere can unleash a host of feelings for the neurodiverse, which can be anything from trauma, fear, insecurity, anxiety, a fight response, and more. This load of stuff all at one time can be difficult. For me as a fire person or neurospicy, it is usually the fight response.
I try to manage it by seeking out what others around me think of it. This allows me to take the focus off the intense feelings and focus on what others are saying. What others think is also a sounding board that I check my own feelings against to see if I am being rational or reasonable. This seeking out what others think can cause a ruckus of its own too. I call it, “putting it in the rock tumbler.” The trouble is, you never know how it will come out of the tumbler, but it sure is tumbling around inside.
As my fight response processes, there comes a point when I am faced with the final choice or a final statement. This is when my heart and rationale finally prevail. I am not very pleased this all is part of me. I would prefer things were much simpler to process. I have come to know this part of my shadow self, I embrace, manage it, and accept it as part of me and self-nurture it. Then I go clean up the mess it left behind and be as accountable as I can. During this part of the process, those who are neurotypical often expect it won’t happen again. We neurodiverse would love that too, but it is not something we can promise. We can try, but even saying we will try leaves a sadness and dread that we will once again disappoint or behave badly deep within us because we know we do not have full control of that.
As for the topic of AI, my final take on it is this: It is not for me. I object completely and to keep myself from being triggered I simply will not ask if something is AI. Like many things, I am not the AI police. It is not my place to gatekeep what others do or use. People do not have to believe and act as I do and I am not going to further enhance separation and divisiveness by continuing to kick up a fuss, nor will I “other” someone because their choices are not like my own. Instead, I will let my heart prevail because I really do have room in my heart for everyone, no matter what they decide to believe, practice, or do. Just know on occasion, you will see me kick up a fuss then make my way back to the huge space in my heart I have for everyone. Many Blessings to all.
Cat Gina Cole is a Herditary Witch and author of Psychic Skills for Magic and Witchcraft (Llewellyn, 2022). She is the founder of The Coven of the Rising Phoenix and Staff Coordinator for “Green Egg Magazine.” You can reach her at www.catginacole.com.