Posted on Leave a comment

The Most Sacred Magic Word: The Power of Saying No

By Lady Saoirse

“My boyfriend won’t stop spending my money!”

“My adult children won’t move out!”

“My best friend won’t let me date!”

I hear a lot of things like this from people who come for advice during tarot readings. They want to know how they can make people stop doing things they don’t want them to do. Truthfully, sometimes, we can’t control what other people do and no amount of talking, begging, or spellwork will change that. There is something you can do, however, even though we can’t force people to do what we want them to.

There is one word of power that you can speak and it can create immediate changes in your life, but you have to be very brave to use it. Ready?

That magic word is “No.”

There is something special that happens when you say “No.” It creates an immediate change. People stop, take notice, and immediately react. Sometimes, they react by fighting you, but if you stand your ground, the answer, no matter how much they fight is still “No.”

Sometimes, people react by respecting you and being mindful of your boundaries. Sometimes, people react by revolting and leaving and sometimes, that is the most magical thing of all that can happen because when you say “No” to the wrong things, you are in essence saying something else very magical.

You are saying “Yes” to the right things.

When you tell somebody that no, they may not spend your money on themselves, you are saying “yes” to protecting your resources. When you tell people that no, they cannot live in your house anymore, you are saying “yes” to making your home a sanctuary. When you tell people no, they may not dictate who you date, you are saying “yes” to your right to find love on your own terms. Saying “No” effectively allows you to be in charge of making your own decisions about what and who you include in your life and it allows you to control your own destiny.

What if your boyfriend takes your card and won’t give it back? That is theft. Call the cops and cancel the card, getting the bank to reissue a new one. What if the unwanted “roommates” won’t pack up and move out? Change the locks and set their things outside for them to find when they get home. What if your friends crash your date or try to chase off love interests? These are not friends. Cut them off. There are things you can do to make people stop doing things but it is going to take some effort and sitting on the couch, “sending energy out to the universe” or casting a spell in the backyard just doesn’t cut it sometimes.

So why can’t more people use the simple magic word “No” on their own behalf? Guilt and fear. People are afraid it will upset people if they assert themselves. They would feel bad if they upset someone they care about and they are worried people would reject them if they did. Here is a dirty little secret:

If somebody ever makes you worry that they might abandon you if you do what is right for you, get down on your knees and pray to your Mother Goddess or Father God to help you find the strength to get that individual out of your life because they obviously don’t care about you.

There are a lot of manipulative individuals in this world who will prey on people who won’t stand up for themselves. If you are someone who won’t assert yourself and do things in your behalf, they will be drawn to you like flies to honey. They will do all they can to keep you within their grasp and they might even say things like “Nobody loves you like I do” so they can scare you into compliance. It’s a common abuse tactic and such abusers spend their whole lives controlling people this way.

As magical practitioners, we understand that we control a lot that goes on in our own lives and one thing we choose is with whom we spend our time. We decide what treatment we will tolerate and we decide whether to allow toxic people to continue to poison us. It doesn’t matter how many spellbooks you use or how many magical potions you brew. If you won’t set boundaries, your magic is not working for your benefit. The best magic you can do for yourself is to include the right people and experiences in your life and sometimes that starts with the magic word “No.”

Yes, you can do it!

About the Author:  Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own Magical Path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today, she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess. She is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, a member of the spiritual family at The Magical Druid in Ohio, and she shares her gifts as a psychic and content writer for Spiritual Blossom. She has written for the digital magazines “Mysticsense” and “PaganPagesOrg.”

Leave a Reply