By Lady Saoirse
Bright Blessings,
Now we are at the time of Samhain. The veil has thinned, and the dead walk amongst the living. There is debate as to when Samhain is. Some celebrate it on New Moon or Full Moon closest to Halloween. Others say it is exactly November 1 every year. Some people say it is when the first frost hits. Some people say the word means “November” so it can be celebrated for the whole month.
I think, no matter when we say Samhain is, we can all agree, it hits home for all of us who venerate our ancestors. They may have left us to begin a new life, but they are never far from us.
What else hits home is the fact that living people who we have connected with magically are never far away either. Even the ones who we wish would go away. I got quite a reminder of that this week.
Case in point- a beloved soul friend crossed the veil this month, and I was asked to help her closest family put together a proper Pagan memorial for her. We discussed who will be invited. And two names came up of people I am no longer in touch with. They will be invited. The one, I used to invite to every Pagan circle I had, and she came for years. Then she told me a huge lie- and then tried to gaslight me into believing she never said what she said to me many times. Bye.
The other, never did anything like that. He was always really nice to me. He was knowledgeable, and I respected the fact he did prison ministry. He was much older than the rest of us, and his views were a reflection of the fact he’d grown up conservative in America. His comments about race were ridiculous and he’s someone who does not think people should be trans and that they had no place in Pagan circles. Bye.
Both of them will be invited to the memorial because my friend who passed had a relationship with them.
There are others who are also gone but who I still feel a connection with. The one who succumbed to drugs and is too dangerous for any of us to be around. The one who refused to get his psychotic disorder treated, and he’s also dangerous. The one we caught being an abusive spouse. The one who picked fights constantly and nobody could stand it anymore. Then there are the ones who just left without fights or explanation. How connected are we still? We passed a horn together in Norse celebrations and shared our magic in Wiccan circles. We cast spells, did healing rituals, and observed Sabbats together.
I have found the magical bonds I share with people to be more powerful than the bonds I formed with people in the Christian church. Praying with people isn’t the same as combining energy to work magic and I think it’s because it is OUR energy that goes into the magic. On the other hand, in church settings, you pull on the power of the Christian god, and you do not connect as closely with people as when you are using your own power.
I can’t say that I remember every last circle I did with all the people I have circled with over the years, but I remember the people I have shared my magic with. I remember the love, the good times, the healing, and no matter what, they still have a place in my heart. I guess I should say there is an “empty” place someone who is gone have left, but there isn’t.
We come into one another’s lives for a reason. Sometimes, we are meant to teach one another one thing, and other times, we are meant to be with one another for a very long time. All these experiences are important, even if they end badly. I will never forget some of the things I have heard people say to one another when they broke things off, and there are a few things I could have done without hearing said to me.
But I don’t regret one moment of sharing. That’s what life, relationships, and magic are all about. Coming together, sharing our magic, making good things happen, and growing from each experience.
So, am I uncomfortable seeing the liar and the anti-trans person at the memorial? No. They are going to say goodbye to a wonderful person who tolerated them better than I did, and they will come in peace, grieve with us, and go their way. Will I follow up and “catch up” with them, though? No. I appreciate them for the good experiences, but sometimes, even though someone has a place in your heart, they don’t have a place in your life.
We can honor the memory of good times with people, and memorialize their passing, all while knowing saying goodbye was necessary. May you remember the good times when bad times tear you away from people you love.
Like we say :
This circle is open but never unbroken.
Merry Have we Met
Merry Shall We Part
Merry Shall We Meet Again.
Blessed Be.
Our magical bonds stay strong even if we break off our relationships.
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Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own magical path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she is a member of the spiritual family at the Magical Druid in Ohio, and she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for SpiritualBlossom and Mysticsense and she writes for PaganPages.Org emag.