By Lady Saoirse
Bright Blessings,
I remember when I was what some could call a “baby witch.” I was 30 and had moved from my home in Ohio to Phoenix, Arizona. I found my path after walking away from Christianity there. I was befriended by someone named John who was 30 years my senior. John was absolutely horrified I got engaged to a man who lived back home in Ohio and was going to move back there to marry him.
John’s objection? Ted was a Christian- or an “Xtian” as a lot of us call them. He insisted no relationship with a Christian would work out long-term with a non-Christian, most especially someone as liberal and magically focused as I was. I’m glad I didn’t listen to John. That was way back in 2005. Now, in 2024, my marriage is stronger than ever, and of course I’m still a Pagan and a Witch and Ted is still a Xtian. Why do I believe an interfaith relationship can work?
First off, I asked Ted what he thought about interfaith relationships and he said his advice is and I quote, “Mind your own religion. Other people’s religion is none of your business.” I mind my faith and he minds his and we don’t try to convert one another. Religion is something that is personal and somebody else’s religion should not affect yours. I’m in my religion for my own spirituality and other people’s beliefs do not figure into it at all. While I do love to Circle with like-minded individuals, being a Pagan means that many who I Circle with have their own beliefs and we come together to share magic. Now I agree that plenty of Xtians, including some of my late mother’s family members cannot understand that, but Ted and I do. So, we have no problem with having different beliefs from one another.
Neither of us believes there is only one way to believe, and personally, I have always agreed with the cliché phrase that ‘God is too big to fit into one religion.” If you read the basic commandments and beliefs in each religion- they are eerily similar. Have a relationship with the divine, live a good life, be nice, do good deeds, don’t be mean or do awful things, and you will evolve and go to a place where other evolved people go. Literally. Each religion has different views about what each of these things entail, but the basic gist is the same. So as far as I am concerned, we all pretty much agree!
We respect the fact that everybody is different and has different needs. Religions are like toolboxes. Each of us needs different tools to meet our spiritual goals. Some people need sermons or Covens and others need solitude. Some people feel no need for tools at all and they think things just ARE and they just exist with the higher power. Both Ted and I respect everybody’s right to use the tools they need to meet their religious needs and that extends to respecting one another’s needs as well.
Not everybody is as easygoing as Ted and I are when it comes to religion, I agree. Some people are extremely uncomfortable with certain beliefs. I admit, I could not be with a neo-Nazi Heathen and I could not be with someone whose religion was against things like birth control or homosexuality. So I fully understand that we all have our own deal breakers when it comes to relationships. How can you and an open-minded partner whose religions are different make a life together? It’s easy.
- Celebrate religious holidays together. I host Easter and Xmas sometimes and Ted joins us for Sabbats sometimes. I’m not worshipping Jesus because I do Xmas and Teddy is not Wiccan because he joins us for Beltane. We celebrate holidays as a couple and enjoy the fun of it all.
- Agree to disagree. While Ted worships one god, and I don’t think there is only one, what good would it do me to condemn him for it? He certainly doesn’t try to tell me and my soul kin we are idolators. Even within the same Groves, Mosques, Covens, or Churches, people have their own beliefs about things that differ from what some of their brethren believe. Be okay with that and being an interfaith couple is possible.
- Accept that there are some things you won’t understand and that is okay. We don’t have to understand everything other people believe. It’s their beliefs and they are sacred to the one we love. That is all we need to understand.
- Do what Ted said and mind your own beliefs. Truthfully, our religions should bring us closer to our higher power and make us more spiritual than worldly. Hanging onto changing what others believe anchors us to the physical and separates us from spirit.
- Pray with your loved one and speak to their deity about blessing them. I know this sounds weird, but have you ever talked to someone else’s god or goddess? It does not make you a devotee of that deity, it just means you communicate with her or him. You will be surprised how praying with people who worship differently than you will open your awareness to the sacred.
Interfaith relationships can work and me and Ted, the Witch and the Xtian are proof of that!
Blessed Be!
Lady Saoirse has studied magic and lore for most of her life but started walking her own magical path after being spiritually reborn in the desert. Today she is a High Priestess for The Temple of the Goddess, she is a psychic advisor and spiritual counselor, she is a member of the spiritual family at the Magical Druid in Ohio, and she shares her gifts as a Psychic and Content Writer for Spiritual Blossom. She has written for Mysticsense and PaganPages.Org emag